A Stitch in the Right Direction

Feeling a little bit better today. Hopefully, the antibiotics are kicking in full swing. I went to Jo-Ann Fabrics yesterday afternoon. I got some basic white cotton fabric, embroidery needles and thread, a hoop, and a book about embroidery and basic projects. I have been interested in trying some of the mixed media work I have seen in Cloth Paper Scissors and Somerset Studios magazines I have read recently, so here is my chance. I didn’t spend a lot up front on supplies – we’ll see how it goes before making a bigger investment.

I’ve always done well with sewing, even though I haven’t done a lot of it. A couple of years ago, I made costumes for myself and my friend for Halloween. They were done by hand, no patterns (they were just basic dress and cape designs, I’m no guru) – but they held together, and I even won the top costume prize at the party! Probably more for the makeup and my hamming it up on stage – but I thought I looked pretty snazzy!

If things work out well, I may be asking for a machine for my birthday, but I haven’t even looked at prices. So, I have a feeling it will be more like I’ll be picking up my mom’s old machine next time we go to visit. We shall see. Either way, I’m excited about my new endeavor and I’ll post my progress as I go.

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A Small String of Hope

Unfortunately, I have not stayed as healthy as I was hoping my new energy had been promising. I was in the hospital this week with 2 different severe ear infections in BOTH ears. I won’t go into the disgusting details, but I have both inner and outer ear infections in both ears, and can’t hear squat. The problem lies in the fact that the doctors can’t seem to get the infections out of my ears completely. That is mostly due to the fact that the medications interact with my epilepsy meds and I am allergic to penicillin, so the obvious choice is a no-go. Ugh.

Either way, I am home now and feeling better today. Hopefully this means that the antibiotic is working and not wreaking as much havoc on my liver as was feared. I’m trying to drink lots of water and keep a fairly healthy diet to help my immune system as best as I can. The ER docs said they think part of the issues with my ears are due to the fact that my body has been fighting various infections for so long now (over 3 months of serious illness) that it just can’t do it alone any more. So, I am trying to help myself by keeping a positive outlook, staying as healthy as possible, and working with the doctors as best as I can to get myself taken care of.

Last week was a real rough one, though. I was feeling very depressed and hopeless. I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. It scares me to think that one of these illnesses can easily cause a relapse in another, and the stress/emotional toll from my epilepsy meds is really wearing on me. I finally opened up to Jason about my fears of the way my personality has changed and how scared I am that I won’t be able to find myself again.  My biggest fear is that I won’t be the same person I was before all of this happened to me and that the rage and depression will rule me forever. He was as wonderful as ever and really helped me come to grips with the fact that a lot of these fears and emotional issues really are the meds, and not me. I think the best thing he has said – second to “I love you and will always stand by you” – is that I will be a better person from all of this because I will always remember how I feel now and will be that much more thankful when I am happy and healthy again.

It may not seem like much, but I am hanging on to that small string of hope with all my might – and there’s no way I’m letting go.

Today

My grandmother sent me a postcard with this poem on it a long time ago. It now holds a special place on my wall of inspiration – not only because of its meaning, but because it came from someone I hold so dear to my heart.

TODAY

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it – or use it for good.
But what I do today is important
because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes,
This day will be gone forever.
Leaving in its place
Something that I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain and not loss;
Good and not evil;
Success and not failure;
In order that I shall not regret
The price that I have paid for it.

– Author Unknown

Inspirational Links

I am feeling so much better today than I have in months! I have more energy, more inspiration, and more positive vibes than I have felt in a long, long time. I have been doing a lot of reading and portfolio browsing in the last couple of weeks to get a better feel of the pulse of the art world, if you will. I have been so inspired and rejuvenated by all of the wonderful art I am seeing! I’m doing a lot more sketching and exploring with my own artwork and can’t wait to start my first watercolor in… well, forever! I’m so happy that I’m starting to feel like myself again. I can feel myself getting interested in my new piece more and more each day – and that hasn’t happened in a long time. Giving myself the permission to be happy and to let my art grow has released so much pressure and negative energy from me. It may have taken me a month this new year to get things settled and to build up my courage, but this is just the beginning of better things to come.

I have been looking at some of my favorite artists:

And I have been reading some very interesting books and magazines:

I hope you can find some inspiration and positive energy from these artists and publications, too!

Aside

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